Have you ever ordered food for more than 200 people, rented a venue large enough to hold them, and then watched 21 people walk through the doors?

No? Well, I have.

Have you ever planned an event so amazing that all your friends and family wanted to come—and then realized they were pretty much the only people there? I’ve done that too.

Have you ever wanted to hide in a closet until everyone disappeared? No, me neither. But my wife has.

Clearly, I’m an expert at planting a church—obviously.

So, this was the scene for the very first event we ever did while launching Awaken Atlanta. I thought, “Surely it can’t get worse than this… can it?” Oh buddy, buckle up!

Welcome to the Mistakes I Made Planting My Favorite Church. While some of these experiences are most definitely due to my mistakes, some of them were simply God’s grace catching me early on. That’s my hope for you too, that my journey can give you a little peek behind the curtain for whatever great conquest you’re starting with God! It might be starting a new church, might be starting a family, could be a brand-new career endeavor! Doesn’t matter, these mistakes are for everybody! Woohoo…

So, here are three mistakes that got me good!

1) Thinking my insecurities were old news.

I’m a pretty egotistical guy—but not in an obvious way. Think less DJ Khaled shouting, “We da best!” about himself, and more Michael Scott proudly displaying his “World’s Best Boss” mug. It’s subtle, but the ego is definitely there.

Planting a church does not let you hide that ego! When I tell you that your deepest insecurities are going to come screaming to the surface like a bat out of that place we are trying to save people from, I mean it!

When you struggle as much as we did to plant our church, you can’t suppress those deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy. If I had a dollar for every time I told myself,

– “You’re just not good enough.”

– “You aren’t as gifted as _____, why even try?”

– “If you spent more time with Jesus, this wouldn’t have happened.”

– “If you were a better leader, more people would’ve shown up.”

I think I could’ve funded our entire church plant or at least bought our sound equipment! If those insecurities you think you have defeated are still deep in your heart, they’ll make

themselves known. Prepare for that, it’s coming. Do everything you can now to search the soul.

Psalm 51:10 is my favorite verse in all of scripture; it reads,

“Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Pray this over and over and over again until you notice God has done it. Deep in your heart are these fears and insecurities that God does not want for you or from you. You have got to surrender them to Him! The number of times I called an event a failure because I wanted 50 people and only got 25 is disgusting. I cared about the appearance of greatness more than the beauty of the people in front of me. Why? I was insecure about who I was.

2) Downplaying the role of spiritual warfare.

Lordy… don’t do this! You are about to do something incredible for the Kingdom of God on earth! These lessons were learned while planting a church, but they’re really for anyone trying to build something that God has placed in their heart. But you know who hates that calling… Satan. He is going to do everything he can to “steal, kill, and destroy…” (John 10:10) the calling of God on your life. DON’T LET HIM!

When Valentina and I were starting Awaken Atlanta, God blessed us with the most beautiful baby girl in the same season. What a blessing! Yet in the middle of it all, our family entered the hardest season we had ever faced. Valentina was hit with severe postpartum anxiety and depression. For the next six months, her focus had to be getting healthy and loving our daughter—and she did both courageously. I don’t pretend to understand everything happening spiritually, emotionally, and physically in that season, but I know the enemy tried to use our pain to isolate us, discourage us, and convince us to quit. But God sustained our family. He protected Valentina, our daughter, and me through the most intense spiritual battle we had ever faced.

The Bible says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour…” (1 Peter 5:8)

Satan won’t just attack you, he’ll come for those you love. He wants “someone” to weaponize against you, or sometimes, he’ll just use you.

Remember those sins you thought you had taken care of? Welp, turns out… you just suppressed those too! Ha, they can keep your insecurities company! In the months leading up to us planting our church, Satan brought back sin struggles that I hadn’t dealt with in years! They hit me hard!

The only way I had to take them out was to fight back and the only weapon strong enough was prayer. If I wasn’t going to let these attacks take me out, then I had to learn

to pray from the secret place. My pastor, Kevin Myers, founder of 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia, gave me the greatest prayer advice I have ever received. He said, “Sanders, you have to learn to pray like a boy, so you can lead like a man.”

God became my Father in this season like I had never experienced before. “Heavenly Father” started to feel more like “Dad.” It changed the way I prayed and strengthened my resolve against Satan’s attacks on my family and me.

3) Cuanto más grande, mejor.

In case you don’t speak Spanish… that means “The Bigger, The Better!” and man, what a mistake that was to believe! For some reason, regardless of what people told me, I believed that the success of my church plant was based on the number of people that showed up on day one! Is size a metric to track the level of impact a church is having on an area, yes, of course! But it is not the most important one. Now, before you write me off thinking, “Oh, this guy is anti-large/mega-churches!” hear me out. Awaken Atlanta would be only a pipedream if it weren’t for mega-churches behind us. I’ve grown and pastored at two of the largest churches in America. It was a mega-church that agreed to help fund and support us to start Awaken Atlanta, so don’t hear what I’m not saying.

Because I grew up in mega-churches, I believed that the only way for my church to be a “success” was if it was on track to be a mega-church! Meaning, I needed the largest start-up parties, the biggest launch day, the biggest launch team, the best of everything! But as it turned out… that isn’t what God had in store. Now, am I so egotistical that I have the cojones to look at God and say, “You’ve failed me, God!” Not anymore, I did then though!

I was so nervous to meet our goals required to receive funding that I was counting everyone I could think of as a part of our launch team! Including my dog, Honey, she was launch team member 50. Gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know!

We don’t have a large church, but we have a beautiful one. Awaken Atlanta is the greatest community I have ever been a part of. We’re healthy, we’re growing slow and steady, and GOD IS MOVING! I found the beauty in that, and you should too.

So, when that start-up party that over 200 people RSVP’d to ends up only having about 21. Don’t worry. God is still in it, and God is still in YOU! If God called you to it, He will see you through it. It’s a tale as old as time. So, prioritize the secret place. Surrender your insecurities. Fight the battles nobody else can see. Celebrate the people God has actually placed in front of you.

The church we planted wasn’t as big as the one I imagined—but it was more beautiful than anything I dreamed of.

And somehow, through all those mistakes, God planted my favorite church.